42: Doesn't Have To
by cali-chan
Summary: -"They weren't meant to be now any more than they were in the past, but they were both here in the same place at the same time, and that was good enough for her."- Susan and Caspian meet again, after Narnia is over. Movieverse, but fits into canon.


**Doesn't Have To**

**Author:** Carla, aka cali-chan.  
**Rating:** Pretty much PG.  
**Genre:** Romance... pretty bittersweet, though. And mushy. Sorry it's so mushy. Somehow doomed love brings forth my (usually avoided like the plague) poetic side.  
**Pairings:** Caspian/Susan.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _The Chronicles Of Narnia_, C.S. Lewis and his representatives do... though if Peter were ever to become available, let me know...

**Warnings:** Movieverse after _Prince Caspian_, though it does fit into book canon somewhat, I think. I mean, it doesn't _contradict_ canon, as far as I know. Spoilers for the whole series up to and especially for _The Last Battle_. And probably a teensy one for Neil Gaiman's _The Problem of Susan_.

**Summary:** "They weren't meant to be now any more than they were in the past, but they were both here in the same place at the same time, and that was good enough for her." Susan and Caspian meet again, after the story of _Narnia_ is over. Movieverse, but does fit into book canon.

**Notes:** I haven't read the _Narnia_ books and, quite honestly, I probably never will. Everything I know about this universe comes from the movies and whatever I can find on Wikipedia, so please have that in mind and feel free to correct any mistakes! Also, I don't... I don't even know where I was going with this. IT DOESN'T GO ANYWHERE! D: -shuffles out, hopefully unnoticed-

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She walked slowly up to the green summit, the comforting breeze blowing her hair and making her skirts tangle lightly against her legs. The song of the birds accompanied her as she moved, and a warm smile drew itself on her lips as she came closer to the figure standing quietly among the lush grass at the top.

The man turned towards her when he heard her approach, his previously calm expression now changing into one of amazement, joy... and much admiration, as it always did whenever his eyes swept over her regal silhouette. She glided to him with her characteristic poise, the set of her shoulders belying the strength she possessed, while the colours of the sunset behind her softened her gorgeous features. She wordlessly moved to stand directly in front of him, and he could not contain his grin as her azure eyes met his coffee-coloured ones.

They stood there in silence for what felt like a long time. Sometimes she would duck her gaze, as the intensity of his eyes on her never ceased to make her heart flutter, and it made a part of her want to giggle in a most undignified way. He, on the other hand, was quite unaware of any discomfort on her part, as entranced as he was with the glow in her eyes, and the lovely blush in her cheeks, and the way her dark hair contrasted against the pale skin of her shoulders. Not a sound was exchanged, mainly because neither knew quite how to start this conversation, and both were quite comfortable simply basking in the other's presence after all these years of not seeing each other.

However, it was not in the Queen's nature to stand in awkwardness, and so she broke the stillness. Her voice carried on to him, soft, but somehow still heard clearly over the sounds of nature around them. "It feels like we've been here before," she said, her smile amused and a bit sheepish as she recalled another point in time in which they'd stood similarly, unsure of what to say. Her expression turned a little nostalgic as she reminisced. "But it was a goodbye, then."

"But it is not a goodbye now," he said, his voice as smooth as she remembered it. He took one step closer to her, and her breath almost caught in her throat. "Never again a goodbye." His hand moved forward to softly nudge one of hers. Her own fingers returned the light caress, a movement so small that it was almost indiscernible, but that they both keenly felt.

Her gaze lowered to their barely entwined hands, amazedly wondering at the tingling she felt where their skins met, and in her mind thinking of all they'd had to go through to get to this point. Their history wasn't one of a grand, epic love that overcame all obstacles and became everlasting-- but oh, how the supposedly simple feelings came back to warm her all over, and surely it only took a second for infatuation and affection to grow into something magical. She was thinking this might be it. He moved closer, one more step. "I met your wife," she said, looking up to him, the smile still lingering on her lips. He seemed taller than the last time she'd seen him, she thought... but then again, she was older than she had been then, as well. "She's beautiful, and seems like a lovely woman," she added, her expression shining with honesty.

Her tone held not a trace of disappointment. She didn't feel angry or hurt; there was no place for such feelings in Aslan's Country, and even if there was, she would not have expected him to pine over something she hadn't ever allowed herself to dwell over. He was bigger than that, and he wouldn't be the man she thought he was if he acted that way. What they had once wasn't illusive, not at all, but they hadn't had enough time for it to develop into something that could even make a small tear in the complicated fabric of fate. Destiny had different roads in store for them, and they had taken on their respective journeys; it was the right thing to do. This didn't make the feelings any less special, of course, but the truth was that their ephemeral tryst had become something to look back on with fondness and a wistful smile-- in any other position, even equated to an inconsequential summer romance, albeit a very sweet one.

She had no right to any jealousy, and so she harboured none. She only felt delight in their reunion, and a deep calm that permeated through her entire being. They weren't meant to be now any more than they were in the past, but they were both here in the same place at the same time, and that was good enough for her.

He nodded, recognizing all of these feelings in her eyes and finding himself in a similar situation. "She is. I love her very much," he admitted, his hand grasping hers a little more securely. He took a deep breath and watched her close her eyes as the breeze caressed her face. "I... dreamt of you, sometimes," he added, and it almost sounded like an afterthought, but it was very meaningful. He raised their joined hands at chest level, and focused his attention on them, fingers fluttering over her knuckles delicately. "She knew. And she understood, I think even better than I did. She was really more understanding than I could have hoped for."

His vision let go of their hands to hover again on her beautiful face, and for a second it was like all movement around him ceased. Her bright blue eyes open again, fixated on his, liquid like the vast sea and so expressive, and he almost forgot to breathe. She was closer... when had she moved? He didn't know but he could no sooner look away than his heart could stop beating. He was spellbound by her sapphire orbs. Quite in fact, he almost had to remind himself that his pause had run longer than he'd intended; there was one more thing he had to tell her. He took her hand to his lips and reverently kissed it, lingering on her soft skin for too short a time, it seemed-- he only wished he could worship her that way forever. "I never forgot you," he said, his accented voice almost breaking with the weight of his sincerity and the depth of his feelings for her.

As he was lost again in her cerulean depths, her expression softened, her breath coming out of her in a sigh, like his words had hit her deeply. She wasn't sad... the word didn't even exist in this world. No, more than anything she was touched by his confession, and elated that he hadn't stopped caring about her even in the face of her transgressions. She slowly took her hand, the one that wasn't being lovingly held in his, up to cup his cheek. Her lips curled into a watery smile. "I'm sorry I ever forgot about you." The phrase was but a whisper, for she didn't want to break the moment with a cumbersome reminder of a life that never ultimately felt like it was hers.

"That is in the past, my Queen," he hurried to interject, as adamantly as he could. "It does not matter to me at all." His absolution was like a song wrapping around her heart, a key to release the guilt that had lurked in a dark corner of her mind during her days as a hollow socialite, as a bitter professor. She no longer identified herself with either persona, but still a feeling of euphoria threatened to flood her chest at his words.

She bubbled into laughter-- pure, melodic and free, her freckles jumping excitedly on her cheeks and the bridge of her nose. "Thank you. That's more than I deserve." Her mirth was contagious and so he found himself chuckling as well, suddenly filled with effervescent happiness because she was happy. He'd always imagined a moment like this, but never got a chance to experience it; much of the short time they first spent together was tainted by the shadow of war, so there was no opportunity for carefree gaiety back then. And before he knew it, she was gone. But now he got that chance, and he could not think of a more beautiful sight in the whole world... any world. She was glowing, her exuberance warmer than the sun itself. He could gladly spend forever just watching her laugh, he decided, if he was allowed.

He could contain himself no longer and his hands delicately framed her face. Her merriment dwindled as he did so, fading into the profound, utterly satisfied placidity of someone who wished for nothing more in life, because she had all that she could ever want right there, in that instant. Her hands moved to cover his, and she sighed, content. "I'm glad you were happy." Her eyes were moist; whether from the laughter or from the depth of emotion resounding within her, neither of them could be certain.

He leaned in, gently resting his forehead against her temple, closing his eyes as his nose touched her cheek, and he breathed in the sweet scent of her hair and her skin. Chills ran down her spine at the intimacy of their position; her lids lowered as well, as if trying to keep all the feelings inside. "I am glad you came back to us," he whispered in her ear. His tone was husky and so earnest that it reverberated in her very soul. She felt the tears in her eyes threatening to fall and she found herself moving almost instinctively, her hands lacing behind his neck, fingers tangling in his hair, her face angling, searching by feel until her lips met his.

She kissed him slowly, sweetly, trying to pour into it just how grateful she was that he had never stopped believing in her and how blessed she felt to be with him once again. There was no need to rush, no need to push things further than they should go... this was about reassurance, about feeling each other's presence and holding onto it. He met her peck by peck, tenderly holding her to him by her waist, content to let her dictate the pace of the moment. He'd gone on for an entire lifetime without her; he had no problem with taking things slow, so long as it was with her.

There was also another part to this, the part of him that would forever be an awkward, eighteen-year-old would-be King, and that still, even after so many decades, muttered in his subconscious that he was in way over his head. She was The Gentle One, a Queen of Old-- as such she should only be revered, idolized and put on a pedestal, and his fancy was without a doubt severely improper. He could only count himself lucky that she seemed to return his sentiment regardless of how misplaced it was. This idea lingered in his mind since the day they met and had never completely gone away, and for that reason he would always give her the choice of whether or not to take the first step, and he would feel absolutely ecstatic when she did. It was rather ironic: he'd married a star, he lived literally in Heaven, and yet it was this, being with her in this way, the one thing that, for him, felt like surmounting an infinitely tall barrier.

Her smile was serene as they broke apart, one single tear rolling down her cheek and glinting in the amber and vermilion canvas of the sunset. He swept it away with his fingers as she turned to look at the breathtaking scenery they had from their vantage point on that peak. Down below she could see so many people, humans and creatures alike, as they went on their own happy pursuits. The air was impossibly fresh, every inch of the land was bright, the trees were dancing, the flowers were blooming, and large flocks of colourful winged beings flew towards the horizon, where the sky blurred with the Eastern Ocean, flanked by the setting sun. She'd been here for almost one whole day, she contemplated, and this was just the beginning of the journey. "This world... it's perfect, isn't it?" she murmured, almost tentatively, as if she was afraid she might somehow disturb the balance.

The breeze was blowing a few strands of her dark hair over her face, and he reached out to pull them behind her ear. "It is now," he told her in a similar manner. She was glad to hear it; he still had that knack for saying the right thing at the right moment. In her life, had some other man used that line on her, she might have scoffed at him, accused him of being corny, perhaps. But in this case it was part of who he was, a sweet man whose words came from the heart, regardless of how silly they sounded. She liked that he could make her soul feel lighter so easily. He moved until they stood side by side, and grasped her hand, their fingers intertwining.

She shifted her focus fully towards him, pausing for a few seconds before speaking again. "I should go back to my family. Ed was acting entirely too curious about where I was going earlier, and I wouldn't put it past him to barge in on us soon," she finished with a snicker, thinking of her siblings. They could be annoying sometimes, but she loved her brothers and sister to death (and beyond that, now). Whenever she was with them, and their parents, she felt like her heart would burst in bliss. She had missed them so much... when they left it had been a terrible blow to her. It was the most amazing feeling, to be back at their side and it was because of them, because of the lessons they taught her (whether they were physically there to do so or not) that she was now there, in that wonderful paradise. They were her salvation.

Her visage was radiant as she spoke about her kin, and he was enchanted by the purity of her glee. Not for the first time he wondered what it was about the four of them that allowed them to warm the hearts of all those who came in contact with them. Of course, they were the Kings and Queens of Legend, the grandest rulers in the whole history of Narnia. He would eternally be indebted to them for helping him and believing in him. They had fought many battles, cared for their people no matter how small or different, and taken Narnia to its Golden Age, and that was something nobody could dismiss, no matter how much time passed. Yet there was more to it than that: even if one were to ignore all of those things, the Pevensies were special. It was the bond they had, the love they shared, what made them great. He considered himself honoured to be there as it materialized, once again.

He nodded at her, agreeing that it was getting late and she should go back to where she belonged before she was missed. He was loath to keep them from her fine presence; he couldn't be selfish, after all. She took a few steps back, never once looking away. Their hands were still linked and their arms stretched as she moved, until they finally broke apart. Still they stood, gazing at each other in tranquillity, all sated spirits and pleased faces as the wind played with her skirts and the flare of the last of daylight glinted on the hilt of his new sword. When the silence was broken for the last time, it was by her, with an intonation that was almost hesitant: "I shall see you soon. You'll... be around, won't you?"

The question infused him with an immense sense of relief, for he knew he could say these words now, without ever having to worry that their veracity would ever be out of his hands. In their own, very particular way, they had a shot at forever now. "I do not have to be anywhere else," he responded, his tone arrestingly unquestionable, with maybe a hint of playfulness to it.

The corners of her mouth crinkled up, and she crossed her arms around her torso, almost hugging herself. "Neither do I," she breathed out, revelling in the fact that it was true, she was granted the eternal life she never knew she could have and never thought she deserved. And she got to spend it with her family, and with him, and with all the people she loved, without fear that she would somehow let it slip through her fingers or that it would be taken away from her. She was there to stay. The magnitude of her happiness at this fact was almost unfathomable.

It seemed they were intent on stealing away a couple more seconds, but all that needed to be said, had been said already. And so, with a bow from him, a curtsy from her and a secret smile that they shared, each took their own route down the mountain, alone but reassured that the separation need only be as long as they allowed it to be.

They had grown up, let go, moved on, as they were meant to. But if there was one thing she had learned in life, it was that growing up did not mean forgetting. And they _did_ love each other... in a fashion; perhaps it wasn't the _one_ love, but that didn't make it wrong, just different, and it still deserved the opportunity to blossom into something beautiful. Even now, after all these years, what they had, regardless of how small or insignificant it might seem, was real. And much like her faith in Aslan, like Narnia itself... when something is real, it won't simply disappear. It doesn't have to.

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**Author's note:** Dude... sorry about the heavy read. And before you ask me any questions (and I'm forced to make things up because I had no clue what I was _doing_ as I wrote this thing), remember that they're in Aslan's Country now, which is pretty much the equivalent of Heaven and... well, I figure things should be pretty different there.


End file.
